The Cookie
by Lily x James 4 eva
Summary: He gave me a cookie...he gave me a y cookie...what was I supposed to do with it? Surely not eat it, no of course not...nobody in their right mind would eat anything that James Potter handed to them...would they? Help me! Oneshot.


1The Cookie.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He gave me a cookie...he gave me a bloody cookie...what was I supposed to do with it? Surely not eat it, no of course not...nobody in their right mind would eat anything that James Potter handed to them...would they? Well, Pettigrew might, but that's not saying much...Oh bloody freaking Merlin, what do I do?

"Here Evans." James handed me something small and circular and wrapped up in brown paper. I eyed it warily before gazing suspiciously at his face, or what I could see of it at my height. Stupid tall Potter...

"What is it?"

"Open it...No!" He grabbed my hand; I had begun pulling the brown paper off when he grabbed my wrist. "Not here...when you're alone." And with that, he just walked away! Walked sodding AWAY!

Against my better judgement, I really wanted to know what it was.

So, when I was alone, later that evening, being in my dormitory and just curled up on the windowsill with nothing productive to do, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the strange gift. I was about to unwrap it again when a thought crossed my mind. Why did he _specifically _ask me to open it when I was _alone_? So that no one would be around when something jumped out and bit me...?...or a contained spell would hit me strait in the face and turn my hair purple...?...Sheesh...I was getting worked up about nothing! But to be safe, I set it down on my bed, walked all the way to the other side of the room, and pulled my wand out, pointing it strait at the parcel. I waved my wand and...

The paper unraveled and disappeared to leave me a cookie. a COOKIE! What was Potter playing at, giving me something like this! It was poisoned..._yes_...that was it...he was trying to make me sick so I would miss classes and get all worked up because I'd have a lot of homework and make-up work to take care of and finish and then I'd be behind everyone and he _knows _how much being behind irritates me and, and...

Boy, I _was _worked up.

Potter knows me only too well.

Which probably isn't best.

I picked up the cookie.

And nothing happened.

Then I _really_ got worried.

But how much damage could a cookie do?

It's not like inanimate objects all over the world are gonna come to life at this very moment and attack me, are they? ARE THEY!

This is _definitely _not good...

But I really like cookies. Does that count for anything?

But that doesn't mean I should eat it..._oh_...even if it is chocolate chip...

...I love chocolate...

...I love _cookies_...

...But that doesn't mean I have to love this one, let alone eat it...

Maybe Remus made it? Yes...I'd eat something he baked. Not James...oh no, I'd hate to live off of his cooking...that would be horrible...I'd become anorexic on purpose...nah, I can't live without food. I could just order something! Or go to Remus'...

Why am I fantasizing about Remus' cooking skills? And Potter's horrible cooking which I have, in fact, never tried to truthfully say that they are horrible.

Wait a minute...where did Potter make a cookie? _There's _a factor I haven't considered yet!

_Though..._

If I eat this cookie, then at least I can say I've tried...people would probably pay to see someone eat Potter's cookie. They'd put me on TV and I'd be all sickly and green and be puking constantly from its horrible after taste...and before taste...and present taste...OH! Throw caution to the wind! I'm hungry and I really want this cookie...I'm gonna eat it!

I really hope I don't die...

I am picking _up _the cookie...

If I _do_ die, then I leave everything to Alice and Arabella...screw Petunia...

The cookie's almost in my mouth...

I really _would _like to live to be twenty...come on, that's all I'm asking...it's not much, really, it isn't...

It's in my mouth,

It sure smells good,

I swear if I start sprouting tentacles,

My teeth sunk into the sugary sweetness.

I chewed and swallowed.

I waited ten seconds. I didn't drop dead.

I whooped at my brilliance and courage.

And just as I was about to take another bite, something sprang from my mouth.

"I love James Potter!" I clamped a hand over my mouth. My hand fell limply to my side.

"I love James! I think he's extremely handsome! Oh my gosh, _make it stop_! James is adorable when he smiles!" I was in the common room within milliseconds; less time took my hands to wrap around his neck.

"Make it stop Potter! I think you're devilishly yummy! I wanna kiss you senseless! My heart yearns for you James! Marry me Potter! NO! It does _NOT_! When you smile, my heart melts and my knee's wobble! Shut UP, Lily! SHUT UP! Potter, I'm gonna kill you! I love it when you ruffle up your hair! I don't care if I get expelled! I wanna ride with you on your broomstick! I'm gonna ring your insufferable vexing evil prickish NECK if it's THE LAST THING THAT I DO!" And then I proceeded to kill him, my battle cry unfortunately being, "James is my reason for living!" Even if I wasn't about to be his. But, alas, Sirius just happened to be sitting next to James so he stopped the raging convulsive barbarian in me by yanking me off of James. And just when his face had taken on such a pretty blue color too...

Oh darn.

As I was panting on the floor, James smirked cheekily and stated, loud and clear, even if it was with a blue face:

"You think I'm devilishly yummy, Evans?"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry. I just ate a cookie and needed inspiration. I'm sure you can put two and two together.

Denierure


End file.
